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* James *
{K:20200} 11/15/2004
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when i first saw this photo, the thumbnail, i thought your dad looked like the grandfather in the "munsters."
well, no matter that he is angry and is a handful to take care of for you or anyone else, you have to love him. my mom became ill early this year. i managed to go home to see her in february, and left again for china, thinking she would live till summer and i could get back again to see her. but she didn't. i could have stayed home and got another job, but i chose to come back here.
anyway, enjoy anytime you have with your dad, if possible. one day he'll not be around.
the photo tells a story, even if it's a sad one.
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Rose Martin
{K:4696} 11/14/2004
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This is for Lori... I'm sorry if I offended you, I was just upset with my father. Lori is the woman who comes and helps with my dad, out of the goodness of her heart. She got a full-time job and therefore can no longer take care of my dad's showers. I posted before she had given me a reason, and I thought he (my father) was getting to her, and she couldn't take anymore of him. So, I'm sorry Lori... the anger wasn't aimed at you. You are the "one" person I could count on, and I'm sorry to see you go. Again, I apologize for any misunderstandings.
Rose
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Rose Martin
{K:4696} 11/13/2004
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Wow, Carlos. There have been times I've regretted putting this picture up because I don't like to admit he's such a hard person to please and get along with, and posting the picture I'm almost admitting defeat. Your words touched me and made me decide I'm going to leave it right where it is. From the bottom of my heart... thank you
Rose
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Carlos
{K:12969} 11/12/2004
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Rose? perhaps your best picture ? a begrudging homage to your personal imposing tower - leaning like the other, stubbornly refusing to keel over, always casting it?s imposing shadow. I too wonder how ?graceful? or tolerant I will be when the body decays. Perhaps not very.
As unpleasant as your daily grind, I think you feel the privilege of looking after the old man ? your picture shows as much!
And one imagines how much sweeter a fellow Mr. Martin must have been back in 1946 when he drew your mother with the eyebrow pencil. Uncanny the artistic link in your own life! Life?s quite fantastic today and across time. Sometimes unbearably beautiful, at times, ?the horror? ?the horror?! Let us voyeurs photograph as much of it as we can. While we can.
Cheers, CH
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Margaret Sturgess
{K:49403} 10/21/2004
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Rose - My heart goes out to you,
Margaret
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Rose Martin
{K:4696} 10/21/2004
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and Laura... you make a lot of sense. Thank you for taking the time to dish out some nice advise and calming words. I have a person who comes in once a week to give him a bath (he had a hip replacement that has finished him physically) and even she is quitting on him. She gave her notice last week and said I have to find someone by the end of the month. He's always been like this, but I know for a fact that were I to put him in a home... he would be abused for sure. Noone else would put up with it. Thanks again... I'll keep on trucking
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Rose Martin
{K:4696} 10/21/2004
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Thank you, you're very sweet. I try to remind myself that I was a handful to him....
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Laura Gariano
{K:3309} 10/21/2004
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I'm sorry its been hard for you. Your story struck a chord with me. So similar, yet so distant. I took in my father almost three and a half years ago, at the age of 58. He was suffering from spinal problems from being hit by a drunk driver. The accident was long ago, but had become completely debilitating. July 13, 2001. I know the date well, because two days later he left and never came back. The following morning he committed suicide in his car in front of a hospital emergency room. He loved his independence and self sufficiency. It was more than he could bear to think of himself as a burden. My father dealt with it with dispair maybe your father deals with it in anger. I don't know how he was before. But no matter what, you are a good person with a good heart fighting the good fight. I also have an autistic son who can test my patience and frustration levels to unsemingly impossible limits. My way of dealing with that, is to just love him, focus on good and ignore the bad. He knows not what he does. I don't physically ignore it, I just emotionally ignore it. Please don't let it change you and the warmth and love you had to take him in. Its a wonderful thing you have done. You may not be able to do it forever, but you are doing it now and should be commended for it. Bless you.
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In Transit
{K:29432} 10/21/2004
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There are some limericks:
There was a Family Support Director on medicare
Who sold his soul to the feds
The dollars were rollin'
Lists were still swollen
Families are shaking their heads
Community is the place for us all
To live, work, play and stand tall
We need to reach out
With caring about
Each person a neighbor we call
Every family can run into trouble
But they never need live in a bubble
Just reach out your hand
To the folks in the land
Together, the efforts will double
Are there those who know better than me
What I need for my family?
With family and friends
Community begins
And decisions are the best they can be.
Continue to have the strength for at the end... one will be a better person!
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Gabriella Carta
{K:22879} 10/20/2004
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wonderful and sweet shot, good. Regards by Gabry
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Rose Martin
{K:4696} 10/19/2004
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Let me explain where this came from. I took my father in a year and a half ago. He's 82. He's my father and always will be, but he goes out of his way to make sure he's miserable. Of course if he is then everyone else has to be. It's been very hard taking care of him, yet I don't have the heart to put him in a home.
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